Look how badass he is while holding that baby
But what if he used it on the guy who came to the door for his daughter?
TELL ME, MIDGARDIAN. WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS TOWARDS MY DAUGHTER?
I AM OBLIGED TO INFORM YOU NOW THAT ANY DISRESPECT TOWARDS HER SHALL SURELY END POORLY FOR YOU.
WHOSOEVER DATETH MY DAUGHTER
IF HE BE WORTHY
THE BLESSING OF THOR
and watch when the time comes, he’ll just be like “Hey, mate, treat her good okay? Bring her back before eleven please. Drive safely.”
I THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY MORE ABOUT HER GODFATHER, TOM LOKI HIDDLESTON TBH.
This is the greatest post in the universe.
Rebloggin for the comments.
Tumblr, I can’t take you anywhere.
I love you
ALL of you
this just keeps getting better!!!
this girl is going to have the hardest time getting a boyfriend. The poor thing is going to come home, stomp up to her room, try to slam the door, but it’ll be impossible because Chris Hemsworth will effortlessly stop the door with his huge Norse God arm.
And she’ll be like “DAD! YOU SCARED HIM AWAY!”
“I DID NO SUCH THING, MY DEAREST DAUGHTER. I ONLY SPOKE TO HIM THE TRUEST TRUTH OF THE NINE REALMS.”
“Oh my god, dad…”
“HE HAD AN ILL LOOK ABOUT HIM, I LIKED IT NOT. YOU ARE DESERVING OF THE HIGHEST OF QUALITY IN MEN, NOT THE LIKES OF HIM. YOU HAVE A DUTY AS PRINCESS OF ASGARD TO MARRY WELL AND SERVE THE KINGDOM, AND I ALSO WISH THAT YOU MAY HAVE A HUSBAND WHO WILL TREAT YOU AS THE QUEEN YOU ARE.”
“Dad… I’m not a queen! Stop it!”
And then Tom Loki Hiddleston, her godfather, walks in and she’s like: “And YOU! YOU SCARED HIM, TOO!”
“Oh, I did? My mistake. I overestimated the bravery of the young man, I fear.”
“WELL DONE, BROTHER.”
“Dad! Uncle Tom! SHUT UP! YOU’RE NOT EVEN REAL BROTHERS!”
“I fear your daughter is saying hurtful things in her anger, she means them not, I think. Worry not, Thor, I had trouble with my children more than once…”
“UNCLE TOM YOU DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS!”
“BROTHER PERHAPS WE SHOULD LEAVE HER TO HER ANGER.”
“No, wait! You guys have to stop doing this, I’m never going to get a boyfriend if you keep doing this!”
“Oh, alright. We shall never again berate or intimidate the young men whom you present to us. I promise.”
“UNCLE TOM STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.”
“Darling girl, my name is Loki, God of Mischief, Silvertongue, Lord of Lies. I know not of this Tom you speak of.”
“YES, MY DEAR. YOUR YOUNG MEN SHALL BE SAFE FROM ANY SO-CALLED WRONGDOING OF OURS.”
“WHAT IS IT, DAUGHTER?”
“Never mind. Thanks, good night.”
#And then the next day Tom and Chris are in full costume#helmets and all#with their scepters and their capes#And she brings in this young guy#and they open the door#And there’s her father and her godfather#Tom smiling his ovary-bursting smile#you know the evil one that’s also strangely sexy#And Chris has his hammer at the ready#and they greet him#calling him a suitor for the hand of the princess of Asgard#talking about how he’ll need to complete nine Trials to prove himself worthy to have her as his queen
but this just keeps getting better and better
EACH TIME I SEE THIS THERE ARE MORE WONDERFUL COMMENTS
OMFG DIS POST. DEM COMMENTS /dying
It gets better every time!
I am CRYING
[[And there will be that one guy.
He won’t run or never call again.
He’ll sit there and play along.
“I, (insert name), swear on my very life that thine daughter, thine princess of Asgard shall return safely to you. My very life be forfeit at your hands if it be otherwise.”
It’ll be RDJ’s kid. His dad will have warned him about this long beforehand and quizzed him on it.]]
I didn’t even think it was possible for this post to get any better. Thanks for proving me wrong.
“Starting to root for this guy” as in “They sent me to kill her and I made another call” kind of root for this guy? Did he and Coulson make a deal after the whole whoops-Black-Widow-is-now-an-asset-sorry-Coulson deal where Coulson made Hawkeye promise to tell him when he started rooting for the person he was supposed to shoot in the head? How many times has this been a problem for Hawkeye? Is he, like, known in SHIELD for being the agent who might adopt the target you sent him to kill?
I firmly believe that this is what happened with him and Natasha. Like, Fury gives Clint the order, the next thing he knows Barton’s dragging Natasha in being like BOSS CAN I PLEASE KEEP HER I PROMISE TO CLEAN UP ANY BODY PARTS SHE LEAVES LYING AROUND PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEEEASE
"birds and squirrels and earth and sky"
I freakin love my dogs.
Holy fuck. I love my dog. She ain’t ever going anywhere.
Does anyone else see “Dedicated to Rambo May he live a thousand years” at the bottom? Because I can’t. I’ve just got a dog treat in my eye is all
Butthole must sparkle
casual reminder that Elle Woods scored a 179 on the LSAT, which is one point shy of a perfect score.
Casual reminder that Whatshisface here had family connections and was a legacy and shit, whereas Elle Woods came out of nowhere.
casual reminder that Elle Woods actually had an amazing background in real life issues that people dismissed as unimportant but managed to not only learn the law, but learned how to apply the law.
Casual reminder that Elle Woods used her lawyer skills to save a woman from an abusive relationship and also save another woman from trumped up murder charges and basically what I’m saying is you go, girl, go get ‘em Elle Woods, thank you for this movie.
I have a panic disorder. While having an attack one day, I called my boyfirend because I was scared. He hung up the phone as soon as I said that and was over in no time to comfort me.
He doesn’t have a car.
He lives 10 miles away.
DING DONG THOSE ARE FUCKING WEDDING BELLS IN THE DISTANCE
ILL PLAN THE WEDDING
Admit it we were all a little bummed out that the old lady didn’t actually all that badass fighting in this scene
I WAS DEVASTATED
#literally everyone in the theatre gasped when this lady started fucking shit up#mouths dropped gasps were heard#and then there was a sort of ‘oh’ that dropped over the crowd#we’re ready for it marvel#we’re ready for a squad of old ladies kicking butt#give it to us (stuffimgogingtohellfor)
I choose to believe that before the Alzheimer’s really set in Peggy and a bunch of the other retired ladies of SHIELD used to tell their families they were going out for bingo nights and then drive into the roughest parts of the city to bring some sweet vigilante justice. Nobody ever heard about it because none of the criminals were ever willing to admit they got their asses kicked by a bunch of grandmas, but there was a sudden drop in crimes against the elderly in DC.
It got better