Agent Coulson meeting his younger self
oh my god this is the sweetest thing i’ve ever seeen <333
MY HEART LITERALLY EXPLODED
God Phil, you’re adorable.
#this is just such a fucking sassy remark like#it sounds like something my mother would say to my spoiled sister#i never really stopped to think about it before but damn steve#it’s almost childish you are being a chiLD (via marvelobsessions)
That’s why I love it so much though. Because it’s so, so easy to forget this — SHIELD constantly forgets this — but Steve *is* a child. He was twenty-six years old and terrified when he died. And to him, that was maybe ten days ago. Just — ten days ago, he died. Eleven days ago, he watched his best friend and protector fall to his death in a clusterfuck he will always believe was his fault. Ten days ago, he died while the listening to Peggy cry on the other end of a static-filled radio. Ten days ago, he was still in 1945. He was supposed to leave it; it wasn’t supposed to leave him. And he woke up, and everyone he loved was gone, and now he’s confronted with an agency that’s lying to him about everything and he’s just found in their storage facility the exact weapon that killed the person he loved most and he’s arguing with a man who looks far too much like someone he called a friend, who he knows now is dead, who died violently in a car crash, and he doesn’t know Tony well enough to know this is how he deals with fear, so to him, this is just…someone with money, with all the privilege and padding he and Bucky never had, who would never have to go to war if he didn’t want to, making light of a situation way too close to Steve’s chest.
Steve was being prickly as hell through most of this movie, but he was bleeding out and in pain and had no one to bleed on. The comment he makes to Tony, about knowing guys with none of that worth ten of him? Imagine all of the people he was thinking about then. All of the people he knew he’d never see again; who he wished he wasn’t standing there to never see again. Trying to organize a time bomb and remembering the Commandos. Trying to co-lead with a man he doesn’t yet understand, and remembering Bucky. Trying so hard not to keep seeing him fall. Being expected to be above all of those messy human emotions, because he’s Captain America, and while he was asleep that name became a legend so much bigger than any real, living person could be.
He’s only twenty-six.
I just made myself sad.
YOU MADE US ALL SAD.
This DAMN movie!!!
I’m not crying or anything right now.
Not that I’m disagreeing with any of the above, but I think there’s another factor here: Steve has been fighting a war for what, a couple of years? He’s been a commanding officer for an elite unit. I think this has both made him more mature than the average twentysomething of today and made him think he’s a little more mature than he really is. And Tony is, one might say, a deliberately immature fortysomething, a child prodigy who has refused to grow up.
I think the reason I can’t slash Steve and Tony is that they’re so diametrically opposed. They seem to bring out the worst in each other.
And Steve needed some damn THERAPY before throwing him at Loki, thanks a lot, Director Fury.
#pirates of the caribbean was kind of a formative influence #so here’s the thing #after years of chasing curses and hearts and fountains; losing the pearl and winning her back and losing her again #after rum enough to drown his sins and sorrows both#captain jack sparrow wakes up one morning and he’s immortal #just like that #no deals with calypso (he hasn’t been able to find her since the brethren court broke her chains) no desperate double-dealing #one morning he just…stops #stops aging stops dying #he gets the seas forever—except #except #the edges of the map are closing in #the lure of undiscovered treasures is waning and merchant ships are becoming better defended #the day that the East India Company takes Shipwreck Island; Jack feels a great chapter in the world’s history close #(he flees to the Barbary coast with the rest of his ilk; but the romance has gone out of it—the is too much desperation #too much hunger too much blood to it nowadays #the age of the swashbuckler won’t live out the decade) #I imagine this thing he’s chased all his life would crumble through his hands as he bounced from ship to ship #he never gets used to the square rigging on the clippers; though they lead to some good work running tea from china #but the first time he sees a steamship he nearly walks off the dock out of shock #of all the ways sailing would have changed; who thought you’d get rid of the /sails/ #(he swears he’s never getting on one of those monstrosities; let alone sailing on one) #(he manages to hold out until 1893 when the longing for the sea overwhelms him and he decides that even #that ghastly smog and the humming of the engines can be endured) #sometimes he’ll see calypso out of the corner of his eye—leaning on the deck railing; darting alongside the ship with the dolphins #(someone in the early 20th century tells him they’re not fish and he nearly busts a gut laughing) #he wears a hundred names and a hundred looks; cuts his hair short or grows it long #calls himself american; spanish; english (british); caribbean #he has two dozen different copies of Stevenson’s Treasure Island—it reminds him of something gone and half-forgotten #and in 1920 when Seitz comes out with Pirate Gold; Captain Jack Sparrow is in the first row (x)
And then in the future, everything changes. He’s been through it all, of course-watched humanity rediscover the heavens above them, watched them begin to wonder what’s out there. He cheered with the rest of the world when they landed on the moon, cheered as if he’d found Isla de la Muerta all over again, because there was something new. New treasure, a new horizon. But then they stop going, stop exploring, and he goes back to riding tankers across the rising seas. So he’s surprised when one day he wakes up from a night with his bottle of rum (his truest companion), and hears that there’s colonies on Mars now, and they need ships to supply them. He spends the next decade crafting new identities, learning all he can to qualify for the job, and after several tries (and even more faked deaths-this immortality thing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be in the age of the inerasable digital self) he gets it. The ships go nearly constantly now, the needs of the terraforming project creating an unbroken line of vessels from Mars to Earth and back again. “Show me that horizon,” he whispers to himself, his personal prayer of thanksgiving, each time they leave orbit, because the worlds, the stars are in motion and it’s never the same, with nearly three years for a round trip the ports are always different, even if they keep the old names. And finally one trip something goes wrong with the reactor, they’re too low on power and have to deploy the backups, and Jack (Lucky Jack, they call him, for he survives too many things he shouldn’t but science has yet to accept that maybe some things weren’t old wives’ tales after all) goes out for the spacewalk to bring up the solar panels. And as they rise, geometric patterns black against the sun’s glare, he’s struck by a powerful sense of déjà vu, because it’s all here-wind and sails, a ship beneath his feet and stars above his head, horizon in all directions. He wonders, for a moment, if the reason he’s still here is because the universe wanted a witness, to mourn the end of one age of exploration, and rejoice in the birth of the next.
Thank you for writing this. It made me cry, but oh I am so relieved to see the yearning for the stars.
That shouldn’t have given me as many feels as it did…
I want to point out that Gabe Jones had completed at least three semesters of college (and probably more) before he ended up running around Europe blowing things up with a guy in spangly tights.
Dum Dum: I didn’t know you spoke German.
Gabe: Two semesters at Howards before I switched to French because the girls were cuter.
Gabe Jones is pretty damn awesome.* I dug up some stats so we can appreciate how awesome.
- 2% of white people age 14 and older in the USA were illiterate. For POC ("Black and other") it was 11.5%
- 13% of white men age 25 and older had completed high school. For men of color of the same age (“Black and other races”) it was 3.8%.
- 5.3% percent of white men age 25 and older had completed at least one year of college. For men of color of the same age it was 1.7%.
In other words, Gabe had the deck stacked against him in a serious way, but he is a smartypants and he is tenacious and he slogged through a lot of crap to get to where he wanted to be. He needs more appreciation.
*Of course, we knew that already, but there’s no such thing as too much Gabe Jones love.